As many of you know, I am the oldest of four girls. Do you buy into the theory that "people are the way they are" based on the order of their birth in their family? Being the oldest sister and first born, I certainly hold many of the typical traits that come with being born first. I have leadership ability (a.k.a. bossy and dominant), I strive to please and follow my parent's wishes (a.k.a. suck up), I am conscientious, responsible, organized, and feel like I must gain status by working hard, sometimes to the point of perfectionism. While not all of these traits are bad, some have probably played an important role in my life. I think my "take charge" personality at times comes off as overbearing or aggressive, my perfectionist side tends to make me criticize others too much and leaves me disappointed in people. I worry alot about order and may not be flexible when it's needed and may become too boxed in with the to-do-list to see the big picture or fail to pay attention to the opinions of others. Having said that, it's no wonder I don't have a huge social circuit and never really had the need for those "Best Friend" broken heart necklaces to share growing up. However, I'm quite content with my birth order and have plenty of people around me who take my traits for what they are and love me anyway.
After seeing how well the birth order fit me, I decided to see how it fit my sisters. When I look at my middle sisters, they too fall in line with the typical traits of middle children. They are more laid back, very peer-focused, and because life hasn't always been fair for them they are unspoiled and realistic. However, middle children may often feel suspicious, cynical, and even bitter due to their position in the family. They may let friends cloud their judgement on key decisions, be unwilling to cooperate, and may fail to admit when they need help. Last, the "baby" of the family, the "little" sister. You know what they say... if the shoe fits... The last child is the one who was least likely disciplined either because mom & dad were too laid back or too worn down to freak over every infraction. Rather than striving for perfection, they are trying to achieve "okayness" by trying hard. They often have feelings of inferiority and may not be taken seriously. They expect others to do things for them and may feel rejected. They are attention seeking and may appear to be absent-minded, manipulative, and can talk a good game but can't always produce.
Like any family, we have our fair share of sibling rivalry. It's no wonder with such distinct personality traits. Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks-expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs-that can undermine any tale you're telling. So, does differences in upbringing instill different attitudes and values about life and work? I think it definitely does and we must realize that as sisters we were all born to the same parents but into different families. We all can be quick to criticize our siblings for their shortcomings or how we perceive that they 'should' be but I'm reminded of the story of a pair of sisters in the Bible.
There was a pair of sisters who were good close friends of Jesus, when He walked the roads in Judea, now Israel. Martha and Mary ran the family home in the village of Bethany, and took care of a sickly brother. Jesus loved to drop in on them. In one of those impromptu visits, Martha, the oldest sister, bustled off to the kitchen to make a good meal for Jesus and His group of men. Mary, the younger sister sat down at Jesus' feet and pulled up her knees to prop up her chin, and she listened to every word He said. But Martha got exasperated. She came into the guest area and asked Jesus to scold her sister for not coming to help and share the work. He turned around and rebuked Martha for worrying about too many little things. He said this time Mary had choose the better course of action. Whoa! Sounds like we don't have as many responsibilities as we tend to take on, and the Lord Jesus would prefer that we spend quality time with Him first.
Closer friends I'll never find, than the ones I call my sisters.
*A sister joke for laughs
Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 lived in a house together.
One night, the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses, "was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful."
She knocks on the wooden table for good measure.
She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.......
